venting...sort of

okay, so i've come up against a blog point of complaint. as a now official addict to this self-indulgent online babbling, i find myself upset to realize that it is not a good place to vent when my anger/frustration/righteous-indignation is aimed at someone who may actually read the blog. no, loyal freeman/tucker/hermitage alumni, i am not talking about you, and chances are the person i am talking about will never read this since i told her it was just about dead parent's, but i am MAD, like, let it all loose, catty, bitchy, "i'm right and you're wrong and that is so obvious" mad, but if i really do let it all loose and then she someday actually logs in to check out my blog, then where am i? so i find myself with a conundrum. but i will vent a little...this person, let's ironically call her Sunshine, just drives me crazy sometimes!!(and this is one of those times, in case you didn't get that) she can be so sensitve about certain things, but if i do happen to trip up on one of her personal landmines, she absolutley refuses to talk about it, to tell me that she is really mad/hurt/whatever or why.....okay,change of tack. she just called back and i talked to her, and kind of (sort of) told her how i feel. so i feel a little better, though i still feel like i kind of wussed out. i am so bad at standing up for myself! i am so bad at just telling people how i feel, unabashedly defending my own (totally legitimate) feelings! and i know damn well that it all goes back to my fear of losing people, of driving them away. man, yet another thing to work on. but it does still bug me that i can't fully vent on my blog.