to all the married ladies (and the singles too, of course, it's just a matter of situational semantics):
did you get ex-boyfriend urges before your wedding?
just last week i changed email servers- as you probably all know since you all got the email about it- and one of the first people to write me back was a certain irish ex of mine who i haven't talked to in about a year. i loved this man, it's true, but that was long ago (six+ years, to be exact), and last time i checked i was totally over him and totally in love with my current betrothed. but after C wrote to me i had a dream about him, and lately he keeps popping into my mind. a few days ago i wrote to him and told him i'm getting married, and he wrote back and told me he's living with some girl named suzanne, and for some reason that made me incredibly jealous. i know it is horrible and selfish to think that he should be languishing somewhere, sick with the thought of me marrying another man (since he is obviously still madly in love with me, the woman of his dreams- duh), but truly, there is a part of me that wants that to be the case. and i'm disappointed that it's not.
maybe this is all because i recently developped a crush on Harry Potter, and this particular ex kind of looks like a grown up Harry Potter (yummmmmmmm). or maybe (more likely really ) i am just experiencing pre-hugest-commitment-of-my-life jitters.
but i do miss C, i really do. and i do wish that he was somewhere pining over me, i really do. there is a part of me that is still pining over him; besides J, he was the next biggest love of my life, and sometimes i wonder where we could have gone together if circumstances (and geography) had been more aligned.
any comments or suggestions? did this happen to any of you?
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3 comments:
okay, what you're forgetting here, is that things with c were not all sunshine and roses and he was a very frustrating big baby without much hope of maturing to the point where you synced up as people. time and distance have tempered things in your mind, but at the time he was never going to be who you needed him to be. yes, you loved him, but from an outsider's persective it was a totally different kind of love than what you have with j. i would think (just guesswork here as we all know i can't even have a healthy relationship) that its normal to have pre-wedding thoughts of ex-es. especially when they do look kind of like harry potter...only greasier.
i thought c was great and loved hanging out with him the summer i was abroad, but he holds nowhere near a candle to j, whom i trust with my most wonderful pseudo-sister. that's a pretty tough reccomendation to get.
you wise women always make me feel better- and you also make me feel very very lucky to have such wise women from whom to glean advice and support.
C was fun for then, but J is wonderful for now and always. i know that, i'm just being a dramatically wistful scaredy-cat.
(though, kristoise, it's nice to know i'm not the only one wishing my exes a life of silent regret)
All I remember about C was that he and his brother called the psychic hotline and racked up a massive bill! LOL.
And yes...I think it is normal. I started to notice other men way more before the wedding. I think it was nerves.
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