in three days time i will turn thirty. i will have been on this earth for a full three decades, and i must say that i could not be more excited.
i wondered how i would react to this latest milestone, but really i am thrilled. i feel good about thirty, i sense good things ahead, and most of all i am overjoyed that this decade will be welcomed in with a wedding instead of a funeral.
i enjoyed my twenties. they were full of firsts and adventures and world travel. i graduated college, traveled all over the united states, moved to europe, acted in london, sang jazz in oxford, moved to chicago, 'fell in love'(or so i thought) several times over, and explored and abandoned countless careers. those are all things that i will remember fondly from this era of my life. my twenties were also full of loss and heartbreak and a whole boatload of drama. these are the things i am fully ready to leave behind. i'm ready for some roots, some grounded-ness, some semblance of self-awareness and confidence. i am fine with restricting my traveling to vacations and actually settling in one place for a while. i am more than fine with restricting my romantic drama to sunday night television, and marrying a man who makes me feel loved and happy and safe.
on sunday night my wonderful and amazing husband-to-be threw me a 'surprise' birthday party which was made ten times better by the surprise appearance (the night before) of my dearest little sister, synge. seeing synge (and the surprise birthday video message from sarachkah and vixanne- thanks gals!) reminded me how lucky i am to have such a wonderfully strong foundation of old friends in my life; these friendships give me perspective and history and make me aware of who i am and where i have come from. it was also wonderful to look around the room and see that i have created a new life and home for myself here as well, full of interesting and amazing people who love me enough to come out in the frigid chicago cold to celebrate my birthday.
all in all, i'm feeling good, ready for the serendipity of a new age. and i'm hoping that life in my thirties will continue to please and surprise me.
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2 comments:
everyone says that the 30's are the best time in a womyn's life - i'm excited about it as well, though not as stable as you by any means and not quite ready to let go of ALL the drama.
you'er entering this new frontier more than gracefully. every time i looked over to you at the party, i totally puffed up with pride at this phenomally amazing womyn i saw. i felt so honored to be your little sister - so honored to be a part of your life.
it is great to have both the strong foundation of old and the excitement of the new - i have thta in ny too and find it grounds me. getting to spend the whole weekend with you, i found, returned me to a solid foundation of who i am and gave me a renewed pride in that. that was my early 30th birthday present, and i thank you for it.
So...how does it feel?
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