but hopefully I'll get around to writing again later. And I did write this, so it has to count at least a little bit, since 'writing every day' is the overall goal of this experiment. I'm justifying, I know. What can I say- my therapist canceled on me today (she's get over cataract surgery.... oops- there I go justifying again), so I must have some built up guilt/self-doubt just looking for an outlet. Anyway, this is an expansion of a response I wrote to a post on a friend's blog, and I like how it turned out:
I admit it- I read Realtor.com, and the local paper's 'Home Finder', and scan the neighborhoods I like for 'For Sale' signs. But that doesn't make me unfaithful. I love my apartment, I really do, but we both knew all along that it wasn't a long-term commitment, that she was just a fling, not marriage material. She's beautiful, my apartment, and quite a catch for the city, but she lacks substance- and reliable plumbing, and consistent heating, and a washer/dryer/dishwasher. She's a high-school drop out with a great stylist. I won't deny it: I'm with her for her huge sun rooms, her fabulous built-ins and her cute little yard. There's no shame in being a sucker for a great set of built-ins. But I'm still single and fancy free in the real estate sense- no mortgage on my finger, no sir, not me. Which leaves me free to flirt with other houses, other neighborhoods, other cities even, on other coasts. Lately I've been carrying on a secret online relationships in several places at once, including two local neighborhoods and some lingering long-distance flirtations with the cities of Philadelphia and Annapolis. And I don't feel guilty. I never said I wanted to settle down.
I blame my realty-commitment issues on my urban surroundings and friends. Of all of my friends here in the city, only one couple has ever owned a real 'house', with a yard and grown-up neighbors, and water bills. And even they're renting right now, as the taxes (and his divorce settlement) drove them out of their charming single family home. My friends all rent. Oh they talk about buying one day, but they don't really mean it. Because buying in the city means paying way too much for a shoe box of a condo, or leaving the city and moving to the burbs, which nobody wants to do. So we keep our downtown mistresses, changing addresses and lease agreements like Hugh Hefner changes blondes, always dreaming of the day that a change in job or financial situation will lead us to a nice girl-next door (or at least 'girl-down-the-block') type, that won't require changing zip codes or neighborhood bars.
But secretly, deep down (or not so deep down, it seems), I want to make that commitment- a real commitment, in front of all my friends and family- to a nice little 3 bedroom, 1 and a 1/2 bath Chicago-style bungalow with a front porch, hard wood floors, a postage stamp yard (just big enough for a tiny garden, a hammock, and a midsummer dinner party), and a garage. I dream about this house. I casually stroll through neighborhoods looking for her. I know she's out there, and I know she's out of my league, but still I think if I can just get the first date I can win her over. We may not stay together forever- so few urban homeowners do- but I know we'd make each other happy while it lasted... at least until the I got tired of sharing a bathroom.
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1 comment:
Cheater!!!!! No. :) I thought that was a very nice post. Isn't writing fun?
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